Minutes prior to prom with Lecavalier, Captain of the Hockey Team.
He has a Stanley Cup to his name.
Surely he can outcoach Dan Bylsma (WTF Pittsburgh?).
When fired from the Lightning, he soon after got a job on Canada’s top sports network as an analyst.
He looks like Henry Winkler.
…And, he is unfit to coach in the AIHL, let alone the NHL.
Okay, okay so he has won a cup. But – lest we forget – that was in the old NHL. He played offensive hockey under the old rules. I doubt he can adapt to the new ones. Sigh. I am basing all of this on two ideas:
1. On TSN he displayed the personality of an extra on Desperate Housewives and the intelligence of Nicollette Sheridan (who I am hoping isn’t bright). I’m glad he found a coaching job, as it drastically improves The NHL on TSN.
2. He uses an abrasive I’m-not-your-friend-I-am-your-god style of coaching. Plus he is short tempered and swears a lot. Few organizations and rosters are suited to bring in a coach like this, mid-season, among struggles in the standings. If Torts started to wear on Lecavalier, how long before Redden wants to chew on cyanide? Haha imagine Jagr came back!
John Tortorella raises a thumb.
Maybe I’m wrong and he will do well. Maybe my [success in the old nhl does not ensure success under the new rules] + [stupidity] +[personality of that annoying co-worker] * [Fonzie Factor] = Shit Coach formula is mistaken.
Wait, Detroit and San Jose are playing tonight and I’m watching Matt Stajan’s leafs take on the lowest scoring team in the Rangers? Christ.
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