With New Jersey Devils’ goaltender Martin Brodeur back in net and renewing his assault on the all-time record books, it’s time to assess the “how” behind his accomplishments. I have my own theory, which I will reveal after a brief rundown of some of more incorrect popular ones.
1. He’s a product of the system
Since the dawn of man, New Jersey has been committed to a defensive, ‘trap’ style system. While this absolutely retarded and coma-inducing effective system has kept scoring chances and shots to a relative minimum over the years, especially with some of the lesser-skilled Devils’ teams having to commit almost exclusively to defense, it doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s a highly skilled goalie who has successfully turned away those scoring chances more often than not. Ninety-nine career shutouts means many nights of perfection, whether against 15 shots or 35.
2. Longevity
Brodeur has been blessed with remarkable durability throughout his career. Since the 95-96 season, Brodeur has started less than 70 games only once (and even then, it was 67). Sure, he missed a lot of time this year due to a significant injury, but will it be any surprise when he suits up for 70 next season? However, longetivity does not automatically translate into victories. “Mr. Goalie” Glenn Hall started only 60 less games than Brodeur, but won 130 fewer games.
3. Natural skill
Brodeur has long been touted as the best puck-handling goaltender of all-time. He’s rarely out of position, has some of the best reflexes in the game, and has those killer sideburns to boot. So, how does a man with this skill set and durability land on a team with a defense-first attitude for the entirety of his career?
The Answer:
Martin Brodeur sold his soul to the Devil. Brodeur’s new mask shows how he and the Devil have been inextricably connected. The little devil tail growing out of the MB30 reveals that the two have been joined, and that Marty has finally started to acknowledge the true source of his greatness.
The power of Christ compels you
Noteworthy Christ-advocate Sean Avery made headlines trying to perform an in-game exorcism during the 2008 playoffs. Although unsuccessful, Avery’s power was evident in the post-series handshake line, where Brodeur knew that any physical contact with Christ’s general would result in instant suffering. I sincerely hope that Brodeur enjoys his records and earthly accomplishments before being received into the gaping maw of Hell for eternity.
