“Hey, Retard…”

Caught up in the heat of athletic competition, hockey players sometimes let their emotions get the better of them.  These gentlemen tend to transform on the ice, expressing their emotions through the use of colourful language or gestures.  Every now and then, we listeners are lucky enough to have a microphone nearby to capture this audio, allowing us access to some of hockey’s refined culture.  These warriors express themselves in both frustration and celebration with a candid fervour.  Here’s a small glimpse of what truly happens on the ice, in Offensive Defenceman’s Top Ten Questionable Language Sound Bites.  (note: all of the following are unedited and uncensored)

10. Mike Comrie – doesn’t like pokechecks

9. Brett Lebda – tells us when he’ll shave his beard

8. Corey Perry – double dose of CP10. While he’s not “vulgar” in the second clip, the fact that he’s threatening a player who doesn’t know a lick of English comes across as humorous.

7. Michael Rupp – thinks highly of Paul Mara

6. Canadian Kids – No wonder these guys are awesome in the NHL, they started off properly at a young age.  In the first clip, we see an excited Jonathan Toews (Chicago Blackhawks) after Team Canada’s World Junior championship.  The second clip shows goalie Steve Mason (Columbus Blue Jackets) nearly repeating Toews’ language after winning a Junior championship of his own.

5. Jarkko Ruutu – Ruutu uses his limited command of the English language throughout this video clip to beak the Canadiens’ bench, forcing TSN to cut off Pierre McGuire’s microphone.  To date, he’s the only man to silence Pierre.

4. Marc Savard & Glen Murray – Marc Savard crying to an official comes as no surprise to me, as he’s a terrible human being.  Thankfully, he’s upstaged by teammate (and consensus “good guy”) Glen Murray.

3. Rob Ramage – Ramage threatens Jacques Demers’ life in this clip.  As one witty youtube commentor points out, “Ironically, Ramage ended up killing someone else” (euston39).  Ha!

2. Tim Hunter & Dave Brown – Why can’t hockey broadcasts pick this stuff up and broadcast it nowadays?  The announcers don’t even appear to be phased at all, and it only adds to the entertainment value.  Quality chirps back and forth.

1. Kevin Stevens & Bryan Trottier – This is the stuff of genius.  The best part for me, besides the quality chirps, is how Trots and Stevens basically keep cutting each other off in an attempt to insult Bellows.  How many times does Stevens try to get out his line about laying down like a broad?  Total class.

Non-Verbal Bonus Clip! Aaron Downey