Colorado Avalanche Players Getting a Little Carried Away With Comparison to Real Avalanche

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Ever since analyst Keith Jones said that their start to the season has reminded him of a real Avalanche, Avs players have started to take the comparison a little too seriously.  “Holy shit, did you see how we came down the mountain with power and fury and crushed our opponents?” asked captain Adam Foote as he addressed the team following their 3-2 win over the Calgary Flames Wednesday night. “The way we are playing reminds me of an Avalanche that killed 12 people in France  a few years ago. One second you’re skiing and having a great time and then next thing you know you are covered by a thick blanket of snow with no chance of survival.” First year head coach Joe Sacco reverberated those comments when asked what he thought was the key to the club’s surprising start. “Our offense has been good, almost Avalanche-scary good, but I think the real keys have been the defence and in goal. Our defence and goaltending have smothered the opposition by completely cutting off their air supply and giving them no chance to breath, and when we are at our absolute best you can even hear the crushing of their bones before the pressure causes their entire body to explode.”

Colorado’s next game comes tonight when they make the trip to San Jose to take on the Sharks, and when asked about the prospects of taking on Sharks tough guy Jody Shelley, Avs enforcer David Koci said “Once I start picking up speed and power as I come rushing down the mountain side, there will be no chance for him to defend himself. He will be helpless underneath my massive frame and left to die a long and horribly painful death.”

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