Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner’s First Hockey Game

"Wow, what an intriguing sport. Let's bang."

Having been romantically linked to one another, country music superstar Taylor Swift and Twilight heartthrob Taylor Lautner recently attended a Los Angeles Kings hockey game. It was the first time that either of the two young stars had ever been to a hockey game, and perhaps the first time they had even heard of the sport. “Wow, that was really fascinating to watch,” said Swift when asked about her first experience with the so called fastest game on ice. “It’s amazing how they can maneuver around so well because every time I try and walk on ice I end up falling flat on my butt, and it hurts a lot. Clumsy old me.”

Lautner was equally impressed with what he saw. “Holy cow dude, that was so cool! Seeing how much fun that looked makes me wish that my parents had signed me up for hockey when I was young instead of all those acting classes…but then I remember how much money I have made and how famous I am and all of a sudden I don’t feel so bad about not getting to play hockey…It was still super cool though!”

Swift also mentioned that it was a perfect first date for the couple. “I was kind of unsure of what to think when he said he was taking me to the Staples Center because I figured it was just to watch another boring basketball game. I was even more unsure when he told me that we were going to watch a sport which I had never even heard of before. It was a little different at first but once I saw how fast and exciting it was, and how tough and manly all the players looked, I got really excited. I was so excited that I let Taylor do me in the ass for the first time.”  “Hee Hee, I guess you can say I picked the right place to take her,” snickered Lautner. “She was really horny all night and by the time I got her back to my place she was dripping wet, so I had to give her what she wanted.”

Needless to say it won’t be the last time Lautner takes Swift to a hockey game. “Who knows what she’ll be willing to do next time. I bet she would be down for anything, maybe even a Cleveland Steamer.”