The United States’ 2010 Olympic Hockey team was announced on New Years Day, and the roster is packed with NHL talent that should help the U.S. avoid falling into the relegation bracket. Toronto Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke assembled the U.S. squad, which is undergoing a considerable youth movement from year’s past. Before moving on to DKM’s report on the team, you can click here for TSN’s coverage. Here’s a brief summary of the team, as well as some notable exceptions, before we move on to the reactions of players around the league:
(left to right) Russ Tyler, Fulton Reed, Lester Averman, and Dwayne Robertson from a past U.S. squad
IN
Forwards: DAVID BACKES (St. Louis), DUSTIN BROWN (Los Angeles), RYAN CALLAHAN (NY Rangers), CHRIS DRURY (NY Rangers), PATRICK KANE (Chicago), RYAN KESLER (Vancouver), PHIL KESSEL (Toronto), JAMIE LANGENBRUNNER (New Jersey), RYAN MALONE (Tampa Bay), ZACK PARISE (New Jersey), JOE PAVELSKI (San Jose), BOBBY RYAN (Anaheim), PAUL STASTNY (Colorado)
Defence: ERIK JOHNSON (St. Louis), JACK JOHNSON (Los Angeles), MIKE KOMISAREK (Toronto), PAUL MARTIN (New Jersey), BROOKS ORPIK (Pittsburgh), BRIAN RAFALSKI (Detroit), RYAN SUTER (Nashville)
Goaltenders: RYAN MILLER (Buffalo), JONATHAN QUICK (Los Angeles), TIM THOMAS (Boston)
NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS
MIKE MODANO (Dallas), BILL GUERIN (Pittsburgh), KEITH TKACHUK (St. Louis), SCOTT GOMEZ (Montreal), BRIAN GIONTA (Montreal), JASON POMINVILLE (Buffalo), MIKE RICHTER (Retired), CHRIS CHELIOS (Chicago Wolves)
Chris Drury, at the peak of his athletic career
Team architect Brian Burke replaced gritty, aging veterans with a squad laced with gritty, mediocre-at-best youngsters. Burke explained, “well, I basically took Doug Weight’s position, and gave it to Ryan Callahan. I figure both of these guys are 40 point players in the NHL, so I expect similar output here. I used the same logic with replacing Modano with Drury. Both these guys are equally shitty in the NHL, but I gave Chris the nod because of that helluva game he pitched for us in the Little League World Series back in the day.” Drury was excited to see his hard work pay off: “Those kids from Taiwan were tough. But I had some good defensive play behind me, and we got big runs when it counted. It was just an honour to be able to take the mound for my country in the championship game.” Despite having only 14 points this season in the NHL, Drury is confident he can turn it up come Olympic time in Vancouver. “Look at my track record. Against Taiwan, I threw a five-hitter AND drove in two runs. Is that not the definition of clutch? When we have our big matchup against the Canadians, I hope Coach gives me the nod to start. It’s a dream of mine to strike out Sidney Crosby.”
Robyn Regehr (left) gave Dustin Brown his trademark lisp with this hit
The United States squad will be looking to Los Angeles Kings’ forward Dustin Brown to provide a spark up front. Dustin believes he can excel in the Olympic environment. Brown said, “It’shh not ushhually a big game environment here in Loshh Angelesshh. It’sshh going to be sshuper exshhciting when the Olympicssshh begin.” Former Los Angeles teammate and current New York Ranger, Sean Avery, openly mocked Brown’s childlike excitement at being named to the team. “Oh shit yeah, that’s really great for Dussshhhhtinnnnnnn. I hope Dussssshhhhtinnn does great,” Avery said, mockingly. Avery continued to say that, “the only reason I ever made that ‘sloppy seconds’ comment in the first place was because I wanted to hear dear old Dusssshhhhtinnn pronounce it during an interview or something. I wish I had a lisp like that guy.”
David Backes laughing at the United States' hockey team's prospects in Vancouver
St. Louis right winger David Backes, who enjoyed a breakout season last year, was selected to the 2010 team despite having only 19 points through 40 games this season. Backes seemed genuinely disappointed to be selected to this squad, and was openly critical of Brian Burke’s decisions: “First off, I want to apologize to my fantasy owners for my performance for the first half of this season. But I really, really did not want to be a part of this joke of a team. I mean, seriously, look at this fucking lineup. There might be two players who would be able to crack Team Canada’s roster on this entire squad. It’s a fucking joke. Seriously. Ryan Callahan is among the top 23 American-born hockey players? Ryan fucking Callahan!! He has as many points as I do so far, and he’s actually been TRYING!!! I have actively tried to play my way off of this team, but Brian Burke wants us big retards who average a half-point per game and put up penalty minutes. Genius fucking strategy, Burkie. We’ll see how good this team is when I’m taking four penalties a game against fucking Switzerland. My new mission – fucking relegation. I don’t even want to be in a position where the U.S. has a team in 2014. Who am I kidding though. Our only good players are Parise and Kaner. We should be able to end up relegated rather smoothly. I guess this isn’t so bad after all.”
Chicago Wolves' defenceman Chris Chelios, seen here with the Red Wings in 2008
Another player openly critical of Burke was defenceman Chris Chelios. Chelios, who will be 48 years old by the start of the Olympics, points to this seasons’ stats as evidence that he belongs on this squad. “Burkie, you missed out buddy. I seriously don’t see how you pass up on 17 points in 25 games this season,” Chelios said over a delicious bowl of pea soup at the Sunnyview Glades Retirement Home, where he resides. While Burke admits Chelios was on his radar, he insists that his duties as both an NHL GM and Team U.S.A.’s GM took up a little too much time. Burke stated, “I just haven’t had the opportunity to go check out a Wolves game yet this year. In fact, I haven’t watched any AHL hockey, because playing in that league means you’re either a has-been or a never-was. I had two words in my mind when I began shaping this team: young and truculent. Cheli may still be truculent, but the guy is older than me. Time to hang ‘em up Chris, let the dream go.”
Tim Thomas refuses to get matching U.S.A. pads simply because he doesn't want to play
The American team’s strength lies between the pipes, as Buffalo’s Ryan Miller and Boston’s Tim Thomas will battle it out for the starter’s role. Neither one seems to be too excited for the opportunity. “Seriously, I think Tim has been the better goalie for two years now… I mean, he won the Vezina last year, right? That has to count for something,” Miller protested. Thomas countered, “Yeah, but my team (in Boston) could score with anyone last year, and our defence was better than this bunch of scrubs. Yeah, I’m really looking forward to having Ryan Suter in front of me instead of Zdeno Chara. Or Ryan fucking Callahan instead of Marc Savard. Fuck Ryan Callahan.”
Stick with DKM for exclusive interviews and behind-the-scenes looks as players and teams prepare for the 2010 Olympic games in Vancouver, as well as the regular NHL updates.
wow the only us born players chosen from Canadian teams are from Toronto… Winners i can tell!