Brooks Laich Pulls a Proton Gun on Jason Chimera

Brooks Laich, the hooded proton assailant

It seems that Washington athletes just can’t help themselves from getting into trouble these days. Just weeks after the Gilbert Arenas incident in which the star Wizards guard pulled a gun on a teammate at a practice on Christmas Eve, a Capitals player is now being accused of pulling a Proton gun on a teammate after the teams 7-4 loss to the Tampa Bay Lightning Tuesday night.The incident apparently took place in the locker-room after Chimera made some critical remarks about his new team. Chimera, who was acquired in a trade last week from the Columbus Blue Jackets, was overheard joking with reporters about how “maybe he should have stayed in Columbus” after his team had just been defeated by a struggling Tampa team. Laich heard the comments and did not take them lightly and presumed to pull a Proton gun out of his pocket and threaten Chimera. A Proton gun, also known as a nuclear accelerator, came to fame in the 80′s comedy classic Ghostbusters, is used primarily to subdue and capture an ectoplasm (ghost) but is also considered to be extremely dangerous when used on a human. Luckily for everyone involved cooler heads prevailed and an incident that could have turned out very ugly was avoided.

Ray Stanz and Winston Zeddemore fire a Proton gun in this digitallized re-creation

Neither player was available to comment on what happened the next day at practice but other players were aware of the incident and seemed a little shocked. “Man, I don’t know what Brooksy was thinking,” said left-winger Eric Fehr. “Why the hell does he need to be carrying a Proton gun around? I know we as professional athletes need to look out for ourselves but to arm yourself with that kind of artillery is just too dangerous. Doesn’t he know the power that one of those things can yield?”  When asked if he was ever aware that Laich carried a weapon, teammate and good friend Matt Bradley said he wasn’t too sure but also wouldn’t be too surprised if he did. “Yeah now that I come to think of it, Brooks was always talking about how he had this real cool gun that he had been dying to use. Actually, I remember him saying that if even one person made him the slightest bit angry that he was going to use it. I remember just thinking that he must have been joking.”

Protons can also be home made

With the attention that the Arenas incident received, you can be sure that this won’t go unnoticed and will definitely be a hot topic until the matter is resolved. Why did Brooks Laich have a Proton gun in his possession? Why did he feel the need to have a Proton gun on him in an NHL arena? Which Ghostbuster did he steal the gun from? So many questions that only time will be able to answer.