Darryl Sutter or Brad Pitt?
After making two major deals in the last two days, Calgary Flames GM Darryl Sutter vows to now start trading wives of certain players. “Well, we didn’t look very good in the first game with the new players so maybe these guys need something that will really wake them up. Maybe once they see their wife shipped off to a far away locale they will start putting forth a much stronger effort.”With the team mired in a terrible slump that has seen them fall out of a playoff spot, the Flames sent star defenceman Dion Phaneuf to Toronto on Sunday, and followed that blockbuster up with another significant deal when they sent forward Oli Jokinen to the Rangers immediately following their 3-0 loss to the Flyers on Monday night. With the month long slide continuing, the normally patient Sutter was forced to react and now seems to be taking it a step further with the annoucement that several wives will be the next to go, and he didn’t mix words when listing some of the potential candidates. “Its not really hard to figure out who will be moved,” said Sutter in his usual monotone voice and stunned appearance. “You don’t have to be a genius to figure out that a guy like Robyn Regehr doesn’t exactly have the most beautiful wife around, I mean just look at him. Sure he is in the NHL, but come on, a face like that definitely isn’t gonna score you Helen of Troy.” Sutter even went as far as saying that star goaltender Mikka Kiprusoff’s wife is also in line to be moved. “I don’t know how they judge beauty in Finland, but I’ve got to believe that Kipper’s wife would never be mistaken for a Jessica Biel.”
Robyn Regehr or Tom Brady?
Although Sutter admits that he wishes it didn’t have to come to this, he believes that it will work as he has since it work first hand in the past. “Back when me and my brothers played our wives were always being traded, because as you can see, we are no storybook princes either and didn’t exactly land the next Miss Universe winners. It worked for those teams and I’m hoping it will work again.”
Brother Brent, who of course is also the Flames Head Coach says that he has seen the appearance of many of the wives go downhill for quite some time now, and as usual he didn’t mix words when talking about them. “I’d say ever since Christmas they have really looked rough. I don’t know if it was too much holiday eating or what but they definitely lost some spark. Not just in the face either, I’m talking from the waiste up. Kankles, Thunder-thighs, child bearing hips, sagging butts, doughy stomachs, fatty breasts, you name it. Shit like that brings everyone’s morale way down, Its time for some of these gals to hit the road.”
Brent Sutter or Tom Cruise?
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