Belarus, Latvia and Norway Ask if They Can Drop Into Women’s Tournament

“This shot would have been a lot easier to save if it was a girl…”

After suffering crushing losses in their opening games of the 2010 Winter Olympic hockey tournament, Belarus, Latvia and Norway asked Olympic officials if they could be dropped into the women’s tournament. On Tuesday, the Nowegians played Canada to a first period stalement but ended up on the wrong end of a 8-0 blowout, while Latvia managed to score two goals on the mighty Russians but unfortunately allowed eight en route to an 8-2 loss. The first game of Wednesday’s action in Vancouver saw Belarus fire just 6 shots on goal and fell to the Finns by a score of 5-1. While each teams opening game  was different, the results were equally as bad and all three teams governing officials agreed that it would be better if they could compete in the women’s tournament.  “I’ve seen the lack of  competitiveness in the women’s tournament, and I think we could raise the level of play in the womens game a whole lot,” said Norwegian General Manager Olaf Shonburg. “I think we could really give the American women a really good game, perhaps the Canadian women as well.”

Latvian GM and former NHL goalie Arturs Irbe also hoped that his request to allow his team in the women’s tournament would be accepted. “To be honest, I think it has been a long time coming and this is probably something that should have happened years ago. I understand the idea of wanting to compete against the best, which in this case would be other males, but its probably time for us to realize that we don’t really have the talent to compete against men. We are a team that is much more suited to play against women and I actually think we would be able to challenge for a medal. Canada and the U.S. might be a little too good but I can certainly see us being able to play with the likes of Switzerland, Slovakia and China. I mean, did you see the Switzerland goalies mask? It is rediculous.”

Florence Schelling wearing a screen door over her face instead of the normal hockey mask

Belarus, who of the three teams, lost by the smallest margin of goals has also submitted a bid to be lowered into the women’s pool but remained cocky because of the fact that their result was the least humiliating. “We only lost by 4 goals to a men’s team so what do you think we’d be able to do against a team of girls,” laughed Belarus head coach Vladimir Tarasenko. “I realize we only got 6 shots on goal agaisnt Finland, but that was only because we were playing against the male species. I wouldn’t be surprised if we doubled or even tripled that amount against the girls.”

The Olympic committee will decide the fate of these three countries on Thursday and allthough the three male teams are expected to make the women’s tournament a little more competive, the concensus is that none of the three will derail the expected Canada-U.S gold medal matchup.

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