Jay Onrait’s TradeCentre Blog 2010: a Retrospective

We at Distinct Kicking Motion are unabashedly fans of TSN’s Jay Onrait (and, to a lesser extent proportionate to his height, Dan O’Toole).  Yesterday, Jay completed his fifth annual TradeCentre blog, delighting his readers with more content and responses than ever before.  It truly was a 10 hour virtuoso performance.  As I did last year, I rummaged through yesterday’s blog in its entirety seeking out morsels of wisdom from Jay.  Now, for your own enjoyment, what follows are isolated quotes directly from Jay – removed from context, sometimes switching chronological order, and chopped from sentences.  Keep up the great work, Jay.  From your fans at Distinct Kicking Motion.

 

 

Here we go!

Who wants big trades?

I’d better be entertaining. Good thing we have a special guest coming over.

I love “early Morning Pierre” he’s much more somber it’s very soothing.

I can’t believe so many of you don’t think I’m wearing pants right now!

I have no idea if Pierre is sober or not.

Dutchy and Pierre are back together. VERY close together! Dutchy just elbowed Pierre right in the chest and Pierre just laughed. I still maintain one of the greatest shows in our network’s history was “Molson That’s Hockey 2″ with these two guys. It should still be on the air.

Dave Hodge does not sound very healthy this morning.

Sometimes O’Toole calls me in the middle of the night but it’s not because he’s scared of a Thunder Storm it’s because he’s come up with another get rich quick scheme.

I’m ready to take it to the limit baby!!!

Duthie is ridiculing Damien Cox over his shoulder and calling him “creepy”

All three member of this panel have outstanding hair

LOOK AT THAT BEAUTY! VINTAGE 1985 GINO REDA WARMING YOUR COFFEE EVERY MORNING!

What do you think of Gino Reda and Lainey hosting their own “Regis and Kelly”-style show on CTV?

Suddenly Dan Hamhuis is the most popular player in the NHL.

Bev is in da house!

Bev is now preparing omelettes…

Bev says the key is to not overcook the eggs…

The institution of marriage is having a rough time today.

wow do I ever look terrible. I look like Fred Flintstone after a massive bender…

No Moonwalking today

I am not saying anything else about Nickelback other than the fact that I thought the closing ceremony went completely downhill the moment Michael Buble said: “Ladies and Gentlemen… Nickelback!”

Is your name really Brutus? That would be a good name for my first born son.

I didn’t think about my son’s initial’s being B.O.

Dancing Teletubbies may or may not make an appearance here at The Onrait Compound.

Slap Chop makes no sense.

You have to chop things to get them small enough to get into the Slap Chop. Right?

By the way this is a Sports website.

Barnaby’s photo that just appeared on TSN was identified as a “Mug shot” by Duthie. He did look pretty angry.

We’ve already had requests for Barnaby mugshot mugs and Onrait and Hedger mugs. Teletubbies mugs to come…

The Seidenberg Sweeps are under way!

Uh oh, Pierre is getting out of his chair. Get ready for “Close Talking” with Dutchy and Pierre.

Who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by the warmth of a Glen Suitor snuggie on the couch while you watch the CFL on TSN?

The Seidenberg sweeps are heating up! TradeCentre 2010 baby!

I am clearly constipated

85% of you still think I’m not wearing pants?

Yes Atlanta should be relocated to Winnipeg and it should happen now.

The Flames are just a weird team.

The Bergenheim Sweeps are on! TradeCentre 2010 baby!

How awesome are those mini Heineken kegs?

Years of taking off my pants in public and drinking excessively have paid off.

The Mods are the voice of God.

Look at Gino! That mustache is outstanding!

I think most of us already have Gino as our desktop background.

Bev is stretched out on the couch reading my back issues of “GQ”

Wow… we really needs some trades.

“Chicken Parm” was the nickname given to Ray by ESPN’s John Buccigross when Ray was working for ESPN while he still played. Ray apparently dropped some chicken parm on his tie one night and didn’t bother changing it just went on TV anyway. He’s a warrior.

Thanks Tim Pannaccio for confirming what the entire hockey world already knew anyway.

Pierre can be heard in the background. Duthie: “Pierre is “running around the studio”

look who just appeared on the panel! PALE RIDER IS BACK BABY! Darren Pang! He doesn’t look pale at all he looks healthy and pink!

TradeCentre 2010: Derek Morris for a 4th Rounder!

It’s the little things that keep us going…

I think when it comes to Marty Skoula’s time with the Leafs, you have to go back to that night on March 2nd when he arrived. Such an optimistic time for Leaf nation

Haha! Pierre just walked RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA! Pierre McGuire needs to be in studio more he is priceless in studio. So entertaining. He doesn’t play by the rules

“CLOSE TALK” with Pierre and Dutchy!

O’Toole is likely at home taking care of his daughter and drinking out of a Heineken keg.

Yeah go buy your Gino Reda mugs!

Barnaby is always busting out Keyshawn Johnson suits

There was some excitement around TSN because Ron Hainsey was pulled from Thrashers practice. This is what it’s come to.

The Seidenberg Sweeps are over!

this is the best day of the year! Seidenberg just got traded!

Love Costco.

Byron Bitz is on the move!

we can all say we remember where we were when it happened

WHY WON’T YOU TALK BITZ? TALK TO US BITZ!!!

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF BITZ? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?

Horcoff can’t make omelettes!

BLOCKBUSTER: Aaron Ward to Anaheim for Justin Pogge and a 4th rounder.

It was NOT a good idea to make us all work so soon after the Olympics

There’s one thing I have learned about higher education. It’s useless.

I think they are afraid I will be too handsome.

6’5″ of pure beef.

Pure Alberta beef

I wonder if Aaron Ward is a future TSN employee?

He could if he wanted to.

Where is Bev?

I’m sleepy.

O’Toole is easily the WORST SINGER ON THE PLANET.

No Matty Stajan doesn’t count.

No. Not ever. Never ever ever.

Holly Horton and I may scrap soon

55% of you say you WILL buy a Gino Reda mug now! Nice Work Canada!

So proud of you guys for ordering so many mugs!

You drink whatever you want out of that Gino mug.

Holly Horton just e-mailed me to that she would tear me apart if we were to fight. I changed my mind. I don’t want to fight Holly. I’m afraid of Holly.

I’ve never had a McLobster but I am sure I would like it more than the McRib

McLobster sounds really good

Michael Bay needs to be stopped.

TSN: Putting athletes in danger since 1984

You know us TV types, we are delicate

as I said before higher education OVERRATED … you’ll learn LIFE LESSONS from me and that’s what’s important

I think O’Toole has taken his lumps here

He probably wears luge uniforms.

I am SO MAD at Bev for playing Guitar Hero all day!

She is very good though.

Bev rules. Even though she is hogging my TV.

The official mascot of TradeCentre 2010 is Bev Thomson

Matthieu Schneider to PHX! The Yotes are loading up!

Just what the Yotes needed! A minor league d-man!

I’m worried that our standards have fallen so low

Dutchy and McGuire are back with CLOSE TALK! They are standing close together in a different spot than before.

I think Panger and Pierre are about to come to blows

that just might save this day.

Looks like everything is ok between Pierre and Panger

Getting ready to create my own Vancouver 2010 museum with Sid’s equipment and my boxers.

When you’re good you’re good.

I am untouchable.

I have a Darren Pang giant hockey card in my room

PLEASE TELL ME SOMETHING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.

The McIlhenney Sweepstakes came and went so soon!

Still wonder if the Bitz deal wasn’t the biggest trade of the day.

BITZ is bona-fide!

I LOVE BITZ.

Can’t wait for the Flames to acquire Kaberle for Iginla and Bouwmeester

IT’S NOT OVER YET!

my journalistic integrity is incredible.

Bev is from CTV

Bev loves coffee there is simply no question about it

She is a sex addict like Tiger Woods

Everyone get on the Joy Traain!!!!!

TradeCentre 2010: Joy Traain To Nowhere

I will probably vomit for about 3 hours

That’s not Gino! That’s an imposter!

Get off this board imposter!

You imposters!

I try not to google myself but everyone is telling me that the Teletubbies bit is on youtube…

Will the Teletubbies save Deadline day?

Weird to watch Steve Simmons just stare into the camera behind James Duthie.

keeping the BITZ fire burnin’

Hamhuis NOT traded. Biggest news of the day

Sorry Vesa

Moderator only listens to requests from me

Moderator could we get a handshake for the end of the deadline?

The Moderator is not listening

The Moderator is angry at the lack of trades

Is the Moderator Producer Tim?

I LOVE YOU MODERATOR! No need to say sorry!

C’MON MODERATOR! THE HANDSHAKE PIC!

I’M DYING OVER HERE!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

it’s easy to understand why TSN showed Bev and I so few times considering all the action that’s taken place today. Thanks TSN!

Love Pierre McGuire he’s kept us entertained.

Mathieu Roy from CBJ to Fla for Matt Rust.  Good God.

Gino would be defeated because Chuck Norris is a KARATE CHAMPION.

Well if you’re talking mustaches that’s a different story…

NOW we have something to talk about.

I’m slowly going insane

A man can only go so far

What happened to Hamburglar? Is he working full time for TSN now? We are really not using him enough. Where is Grimace?

The Thrashers are a weird weird team.

BIZARRE!

26 trades today. Most ever. Still worst Trade Deadline Day ever.

What happened to Deadline Day?

I want a raise for next year’s blog.

You’re welcome Canada.

YES HANDSHAKE PIC! HILITE OF THE DAY!