Even though it is literally impossible for them to do so, the Edmonton Oilers continue to hold out hope that they can still get into this year’s NHL playoffs. Despite being 32 points behind the 8th place Detroit Red Wings with just 11 games remaining, a total that even if the Oilers managed to win all of their remaining games and the Wings lost all of theirs would still not be enough to qualify for the playoffs, Oiler players remain confident that they will be able to turn things around and sneak in by the time the regular season concludes. “Oh I really like our chances a lot going forward,” said team captain Ethan Moreau. “We have been playing really well of late and we’ve got a lot of winnable games against teams that are below .500,” noted Moreau who continues to ignore the fact that the Oilers 51 points ranks them last in the league and 13 points behind even the second-worst team. “I try and stay away from the mathematic side of things. I’ve never really believed in what those Math guys say, and if you ask me they are all a bunch of jerks anyways. Besides, I was never really good at math,” chuckled Moreau.
Forward Andrew Cogliano also believes that his team is starting to have that ‘playoff feel’ to it, and even went as far as saying the Oilers are a contender for the Cup. “The way we’ve been playing, I don’t think any team wants to face us in the playoffs. I don’t wanna sound too cocky, but if we keep playing like this there is no doubt in my mind we’ll be in the playoffs and then whew look out, we might just go all the way. When asked if he realized that there is absolutely no chance that the Edmonton Oilers can make the playoffs, Cogliano shook his head, laughed and said “Pfff, figures. You reporters are always on the Mathmaticians side. It never fails. Every year you guys are always telling us what we can’t do and how making the playoffs is impossible, well guess what, we aren’t listening to this crap anymore. We are staying strong, and like I said before, we’re getting in and whoever has to play us is gonna have their hands full.”
This is inspirational. I can’t help thinking of all the kids in this world who might let something something so insignificant as Mathematical Impossibility keep them from making their dreams come true. The Edmonton Oilers are a shining light of hope for all of them, especially the retarded ones, to keep going out there and giving 110, or even 120, per cent to everything they have been statistically proven to not have the ability to accomplish whatsoever.