The wife of Canucks defenseman Sami Salo filed a lawsuit today against the Chicago Blackhawks hockey club. Salo left last night’s game after blocking a Duncan Keith slapshot, an injury that was later diagnosed as a ruptured testicle. Today, Salo’s wife released a statement citing how she intends to sue the Blackhawks organization on the grounds of her husband not being able to have sex with her for however long it will take the injury to heal. “Great, just fucking great. What am I supposed to do now?” asked an irate Samantha Salo after learning of her husbad’s injury early this morning. “Who knows how long his nuts are gonna be out of commission. It could be weeks, months, who knows. More importantly, I have no fucking idea when the next time I will be having sex will be. Do you know what its like to hear that your husband has a ruptured testicle? No I’m sure you don’t because who on earth as ever ruptured a testicle? Stupid hockey players, I knew I never should have married one.”
When asked why she decided to sue the entire Hawks organization, Mrs. Salo’s reasons were very clear. “I don’t know who shot the puck and I don’t really care. All I know is that I have a husband who now has one ball, and someone has to pay for that. You don’t understand, his balls were like magic. I could play with those puppies all day long. In a matter of seconds my husband’s sack went from being firm and lustrous, to now being brittle and bruised. It’s a terrible, terrible feeling knowing that something that once gave you so much enjoyment will probably never be the same again.”
The Chicago Blackhawks, who have reportedly already gathered a team of lawyers to defend the case, released this statement after learning of the suit. “We are extremely apologetic for what happened to Mr. Salo in last night’s game. We understand and sympathize with Mrs. Salo, but feel that we should not be held responsible for Mr. Salo’s resulting injury. We can only assure the fans that we will do everything we can in order to uphold the long standing reputation of the Chicago Blackhawks hockey club. Thank you.”
The wife of Canucks defenseman Sami Salo filed a lawsuit today against the Chicago Blackhawks hockey club Salo left last nights game after blocking a Duncan Keith .
of the first and second rounds against the St Louis Blues and Chicago Blackhawks in the groin by a slapshot from Chicago Blackhawks Upload file Special pages Permanent .
Find public opinion about news in British Columbia BC and the world through newspaper columnists editorials blogs cartoons and letters Read blogs and reader .
Daily Chicago newspaper offering news from local Inside the Blackhawks Inside the Bulls Inside the Cubs The newlywed husband accused of killing his wife and .
Blackhawks Cubs White Sox College Olympics High School Soccer Golf Smack Scores Columnists Barack Obama Chicago Bears Facebook Chicago Police Department Chicago City Council .
Now you may as well be persuading the birds against think they hated one another like man and wife By It was the same story for the Chicago Blackhawks at the United .
.
Goldwater Institute ready to file lawsuit against City of Vancouver holds off Minnesota to win 42 Sami Pittsburgh Penguins Tickets Chicago Blackhawks Tickets NY .
The Los Angeles Lakers were questionable in their execution down the stretch last night in Game 2 against the Oklahoma City Thunder as Metta World Peace could have set .
Thank you for your interest but the website you are trying to visit is no longer being supported We would like to take this opportunity to thank our bloggers .
